22/3/10 Days of Thoughts

I don't know why... Somehow, these few days I could feel that my brain can't stop spinning around, brainstorming lots of things.. It just never stops.. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? Probably the question is, what's on my mind right? I guess almost everything.. From personal, visions, goals, life, relationships, friendships, spiritual, and lots more. I guess this year, is seriously a year that I'm gonna be stretched off to another person.. Gonna be 21 soon.. How would it be for me? I believe this year would be the first year I'm going to celebrate my birthday with my status "single" Haha.. For the last few years, I would have my ex celebrating with me.. So, this year I believe it's gonna be a better one.. Better off single... Haha... Well well... Just kidding alright? The time will come, two is always better than one.. =) I am just waiting for the time to come, and the right one to come..

Just like today, the sudden downpour of rain from the dark blue sky somehow stirs up my emotions.. Right now, I am listening to my favorite Korean pianist, Yiruma. River Flows In You... Kiss The Rain ( which was my favorite, that's why whenever you visit my blog you can hear it), Indigo, and etc. I miss my piano at home! How I wish I could play it right now.. =( Would my parents buy me a piano if I study well and get a good result? LoL... Just kidding... In my dream perhaps... That thought were what I think during my primary school days when I was such a fanatic for piano? Looking back at those days, I would always make sure that I practise all the pieces that my teacher taught me, and also ensuring that I finish off my Theory Exercise first before my school work.. Haha.. Anyway, it's not cheap to go for a piano class.. I was on and off for my piano class until my grade 7 that I eventually stopped.. I could see how difficult my mum has to support me for Music.. That's probably one of the reason I never really continue anymore... Daddy was never supportive... He never supported us to be in the entertainment line.. For he think that it is never a good idea as it is dirty, cheap, messy and etc. Who knows? I used to have a dream ; a composer and a pianist.. That plays in the center of the stage in an auditorium... Then daddy mummy will be down there keep clapping their hands.. making them so proud and the happiest parents on Earth! Anyway.. I only get to perform once, in a small hall, for a school Interact Club's installation... That was my first public performance.. I played "Forbidden Love" by SENS and also Canon In D-Pachebel along with two ladies who uses violin...

That was the first and the only time my parents came to see, or watch his son performing/unleashing his talents? Haha... When I was in NS, and I was nominated as the Best Male Trainee, my parents aren't there to share my joy! When I was finally 18, my parents were not with me yet I was all alone in the jungle as I was having my NS stint too. When I was finally baptized, my parents were not with me again to share the joy too. My parents were seldom with me, during the time when I really wanted to share the most with them. =(
At the worst time of my life, when I somehow collapsed and broke down due to relationship matters, my parents were not with me too. When I failed my STPM's Maths paper and knowing that I hold no possibilities of getting enrolled in a public university, in fact, I faced it alone too..I cried alone, and do not even dare to tell my parents and brothers how much stress I am actually holding on to myself... Does my parents know that all the time, when they called me so I could listen to their problems, grudges, and angers plus hatred, do they know that I at times were hoping that they were around with me too? I never get tired listening to them... However, sometimes, I seriously hoped for a good time with them too... A time when I can talk to them, speak to them, and care for them... A quantity and quality time... So that if one day, something really happened to me as I am always away from them, they would know that they have a son, who really, all the time trying to make them proud, and trying to be fifial towards them. Not to gain recognition or anything, but deep down in my heart, I love my parents.

It's getting late... I guess probably I should stop here.. I am not trying to be emo, just sharing.. =)
All that happened in my life has a reason. Never by accident, but always for a purpose..
In the days of tribulation, perseverance would be the fruit. Then, character moulding takes place.
My life is going to be great.. it's going to be a purpose driven life..
More to come! Stay strong! =)
Good night people...
Stay happy those who are reading my blog, that even if you are facing the worst time in your life..
Tell yourself that, even after the worst thunderstorm, there will still be peace and a shiny day =)
We can all walk thru the rain, with God...