[24/04/10]

It is coming to the deadline.. Either a job and stay, or I have to go back..
Well, it is pretty difficult to make a choice at times isn't it?
At first, I was so reluctant to stay here for my cell group and church...
Was challenged to stay, so that I can also continue help to grow the cell group..
Now, as my heart is here.. Yet, I couldn't find a job..
Overspent my money, and I have only fulfilled half of my building fund...
Work? Cell group and church? It's tough isn't it..
Anyway, I leave it all to God.. Just lead me.. =)

Right now, I am doing my mask..
Just finished having a quiet time with God.. Praying and praying...
Hoping to receive something from Him... I was hoping that I could cry again just like the first time when I entered City Harvest Church Kuala Lumpur... I remember that was the first time when I was there, I backslided for quiet a long time.. On that night, Pastor Kevin had an altar call.. Asking the backsliders to come back, and commit once again to God.. Undeniable, God was speaking to me.. No doubts at all..
I cried badly, ever in my life.. I never cried in the public.. But that night, I cried so badly.. I could feel the Holy Spirit and the presence of God.. He's a true God.. Who can deny? I experience it..
I want that feeling back again... However....
I received something... "Be strong, and start to pray for others"
I was thinking... What? Pray for others?
But I just follow... and right now, I feel so much better...
It's time to rise up.. It's time to start doing things for people.. Start serving.. Start praying.. Start leading...
I have grown, and it's time to bless others... =)
Sometimes, we just got to admit that God's thought are far beyond our imagination...
Just when you think you are growing so weary and so weak, God is going to use you in a special way..
For what I experienced just now, I THOUGHT I am weak and need something, yet He asked me to pray for others.. In the midst of this, I was recharged.. Ain't it amazing? I don't know how to describe the feeling, yet I know, He spoke to me... Thanks Daddy..

Well, lately I have not been doing much or going out anywhere...
I woke up pretty late in the afternoon... Had only one meal per day... Yeah,hope that slims me down.. Haha.. Then, next? I would be hunting for job right in front of the computer and hoping that there is one..
Despite series of disappointment, as I could only work for two weeks, and at the same time there are time restrictions for me to work, yet I am gonna believe that whatever the outcome is, it is going to be something that He wants.. =) He have shown my so many miracles in life, and done so many great things in my life, I am sure that He would not stop. In Bible, there's a book Philippians and at chapter 1 verse 6, it says " be confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ". I am very sure that there's a lot more of things going to be happening in my life, so I ain't gonna give up. God would not give up on me nor forsake me, hence I would never ever give up on myself.
What a season of stretching and compression, yet I'm just being moulded for greater things!

Sometimes, I was wondering why is people reading my blog? Are you interested with the way I am thinking? Or probably my life? Or what is it? Leave your comments and have no worries..Hahha...I came towards a twit from someone, I can't remember.. This person said that what people talk to you reflects on who you are..Cool right? For what I have been writing and sharing here, what do people think of me? Seriously, comments from people tells me of who am I..and later on, when I experience changes in my life and probably write differently, the different comments from people seriously is a reflection of who am I changing into! However, I have to say that in life, there are just people who can't accept comments from people! In life, we somehow just have to learn how to accept and think of what people said about us. You see, if people are saying bad things about us, why not let us spend some time to think about it? Just spend some time about it. It's gonna be great I guess. Sometimes, it helps you to become more and more sharp and sensitive towards yourself too! If it is really a bad thing that you have on you, then let us just learn to change and become a better person. See, it's not of becoming a perfect person! It is to become a better person. My leader told me that there are times people are thinking that people has the perspective that Christians are perfectionist and always trying to pefect other people. Nevertheless, we always know that we are never ever perfect person. We are always making mistakes at times.. Come on everyone, just learn to accept and compromise =) Let us learn to be a better person, and make this world, a better place to stay..

"To love, is to always learn how to give even more love.

 To be better, is to always change how to be even better"