The tear drops of Heaven

It's 5.36pm, and I'm over in my college CITC (I am not sure what it stands for, but it's just like a cyber cafe/ computer lab where every students can use the computer, ask a TARCians and you will know) =) 


Yeah, what's most important, it's pouring heavy rain outside there. Seriously heavy, and I wondered how am I supposed to go back, or perhaps it's a real good time that I can spend alone, writing on my blog, sharing bout my life with people around me. I love this font, because it gives me a classic feeling. =) 


Just 9 more days, then I will be having my first paper for the last semester of my diploma. For those you know, this is not the last time I am having an exam after all. Haha.. As much as I hate it, I will sitting for two more papers in the coming January. So, hope all that starts well, will end well. 


Back to the topic, the rain?

I used to have this mindset, then whenever it rain, it's because Heaven is crying. Why? I used to see bad things going around in my life that I felt that Heaven is sad. "Why Earth has changed so badly?" Perhaps, Heaven and Earth are good friends, just as Heaven is a happy place, but as Heaven look at its close friend Earth is deteriorating and degrading, it cries hoping to nurture the Earth. 


I find that today's rain, is like a hug from God for me. It's a living rain, that wash my heart clean over, and over again. Heaven is open, telling me that they have never forgotten bout me, but I just need to go through tribulations and challenges. For who did not go through them before getting up to Heaven? 

This song have been hovering in my mind for the past weeks when the Parachute Band visited my church and lead us for praise and worship session. One of the best attitudes Christian band that I ever seen, truly come to serve rather than to be served. 
Enjoy the song =)


Last night, have a good time with a pair of dearly couple and later on another good brother, we went to have Tutti Frutti (first time in my life!), playing games at CC, and also eating DURIAN (I hope my future gf will allow me to eat durian and kiss her =p) hahaha! Until now, my hands still have the smell of durian. OMGs.. 


However, what goes around my mind is the question when I was asked "Don't I feel sad over the retained of one year not being able to proceed for my advance diploma?" 


Staying optimistic as I am all the time, telling her that I'm already fine with it, got over it long ago. Yeah, I got over it.  
Yet, my deepest weakness is the undying spirit of me that I hate to lose. I'm  hunger for winning, excelling, achieving greater things. No wonder it brings equality to my Chinese name which means "bring glory to the ancestors and family". 


One month ago, when I felt that all my dreams has shattered in front of me, I'm glad that good friends are around, love is still in the air, family stood by me, telling me it's okay. 


I learned one thing that truly inspires me a lot, "When your dreams have been shattered and you are so lost, get yourself a NEW dream." 


Sometimes in life, we are always grudgingly complaining on why didn't we achieve certain things in life? Telling people that we could have got this and that. Yeah, that's right. "We COULD have." But it's too bad to get a new dream after all I guess. 


My dream of getting a scholarship, scoring a CGPA more than 3.6 shattered. Becoming a top student, shattered. Finishing up my studies before I am 25, shattered. So much of things, GONE. 
But now, I am living to what lies ahead in front of me rather than looking back. 


So, what am I going to do next now? For the time being, guess I will just finish up this examination, get a good job, and prepare well for Advance Diploma in the coming intake which is, a year later. Will live out a higher expectation towards myself in the coming days. I know I can be better, and I need to change to become better =)


I am glad that there is such a place in college that is quiet, and so I can really rest my mind. Well, ever since I am single, I truly learn to enjoy the time of being alone because that's the time when I can learn to draw strength from God, to be strong independently before I actually someone again into my life. 

So, who is that special someone out there? =) 
I'm waiting, waiting and waiting. 
All I know is that, this time round I will be holding it real tight for the next person that comes into my life, loving the right way, giving the right way, and make sure things are in the right way. 
I would love to walk this journey slowly with one who love me, rather than to go on a highway that ends up nothing. =) 


Guess I'm going to be in a relationship? Haha.. Well, guess No. Unless there's someone who is ready to love me, and to receive my love =)