How have life been?

I hope things are getting better for now...
Beginning from December,
I am....
Praying and aiming for good results for diploma.. This will be the greatest present for my dad....
Praying and aiming for excellent performance in my workplace... This will be the greatest present for my future...
Praying and aiming for financial stability... This will be the best achievement in life until today...
Praying and aiming that cell group will continue to grow.. For this is the calling of God to lead and a healthy cell group should grow...
Praying and hopefully that my family will continue to be protected, in good health, always loving and blessed by God...
Take the lead o God...

Random thought.

Your time will come, be patient and focus.
Keep your heart pure, set your heart right. =)

The tear drops of Heaven

It's 5.36pm, and I'm over in my college CITC (I am not sure what it stands for, but it's just like a cyber cafe/ computer lab where every students can use the computer, ask a TARCians and you will know) =) 


Yeah, what's most important, it's pouring heavy rain outside there. Seriously heavy, and I wondered how am I supposed to go back, or perhaps it's a real good time that I can spend alone, writing on my blog, sharing bout my life with people around me. I love this font, because it gives me a classic feeling. =) 


Just 9 more days, then I will be having my first paper for the last semester of my diploma. For those you know, this is not the last time I am having an exam after all. Haha.. As much as I hate it, I will sitting for two more papers in the coming January. So, hope all that starts well, will end well. 


Back to the topic, the rain?

I used to have this mindset, then whenever it rain, it's because Heaven is crying. Why? I used to see bad things going around in my life that I felt that Heaven is sad. "Why Earth has changed so badly?" Perhaps, Heaven and Earth are good friends, just as Heaven is a happy place, but as Heaven look at its close friend Earth is deteriorating and degrading, it cries hoping to nurture the Earth. 


I find that today's rain, is like a hug from God for me. It's a living rain, that wash my heart clean over, and over again. Heaven is open, telling me that they have never forgotten bout me, but I just need to go through tribulations and challenges. For who did not go through them before getting up to Heaven? 

This song have been hovering in my mind for the past weeks when the Parachute Band visited my church and lead us for praise and worship session. One of the best attitudes Christian band that I ever seen, truly come to serve rather than to be served. 
Enjoy the song =)


Last night, have a good time with a pair of dearly couple and later on another good brother, we went to have Tutti Frutti (first time in my life!), playing games at CC, and also eating DURIAN (I hope my future gf will allow me to eat durian and kiss her =p) hahaha! Until now, my hands still have the smell of durian. OMGs.. 


However, what goes around my mind is the question when I was asked "Don't I feel sad over the retained of one year not being able to proceed for my advance diploma?" 


Staying optimistic as I am all the time, telling her that I'm already fine with it, got over it long ago. Yeah, I got over it.  
Yet, my deepest weakness is the undying spirit of me that I hate to lose. I'm  hunger for winning, excelling, achieving greater things. No wonder it brings equality to my Chinese name which means "bring glory to the ancestors and family". 


One month ago, when I felt that all my dreams has shattered in front of me, I'm glad that good friends are around, love is still in the air, family stood by me, telling me it's okay. 


I learned one thing that truly inspires me a lot, "When your dreams have been shattered and you are so lost, get yourself a NEW dream." 


Sometimes in life, we are always grudgingly complaining on why didn't we achieve certain things in life? Telling people that we could have got this and that. Yeah, that's right. "We COULD have." But it's too bad to get a new dream after all I guess. 


My dream of getting a scholarship, scoring a CGPA more than 3.6 shattered. Becoming a top student, shattered. Finishing up my studies before I am 25, shattered. So much of things, GONE. 
But now, I am living to what lies ahead in front of me rather than looking back. 


So, what am I going to do next now? For the time being, guess I will just finish up this examination, get a good job, and prepare well for Advance Diploma in the coming intake which is, a year later. Will live out a higher expectation towards myself in the coming days. I know I can be better, and I need to change to become better =)


I am glad that there is such a place in college that is quiet, and so I can really rest my mind. Well, ever since I am single, I truly learn to enjoy the time of being alone because that's the time when I can learn to draw strength from God, to be strong independently before I actually someone again into my life. 

So, who is that special someone out there? =) 
I'm waiting, waiting and waiting. 
All I know is that, this time round I will be holding it real tight for the next person that comes into my life, loving the right way, giving the right way, and make sure things are in the right way. 
I would love to walk this journey slowly with one who love me, rather than to go on a highway that ends up nothing. =) 


Guess I'm going to be in a relationship? Haha.. Well, guess No. Unless there's someone who is ready to love me, and to receive my love =)

What a season in life..

Truly in life, there are many seasons in life... Which seasons are you in now my dear bloggie readers? *winks*

Came across this lovely image (google-d so that my blog won't be so bored) Haha..
Yeah, that's right.. What season is everyone in?

Went for a gathering with my fellow hometown friends, and it seems like.. It's a season for breaking up? OMGs.. Haha.. Anyhow, not exactly I supposed. 

Yeah it's true that some are going through some pain and sorrows after breaking up. As for some, still having their sweet time.. Some still stays the same, while some got worse. Whatever it is, I still have to ensure that I don't hibernate through this season of mine, but to keep going regardless it is a freezing winter, freaking hot summer, lovely autumn, or the breezing spring. 

In a season of growth I am, continuously having different trials and tribulations, challenges and standing up after failures for the past one whole year and right now, I am still in a battle.. Yeah, time flies. It felt like just yesterday only I have just fell, but I am glad here I am, still standing and blogging bout my life. Not sad, not complaining, but I am grateful to my God for leading me all these while. 

Lately, I was surprised and at the same time glad that two of my good old friends back at hometown actually dropped by here, and found out what's going on with my life. There are not just passers-by...

but they are dearly to me who have words that often motivates me. Thanks to my all time dear Mikka and of course,Choon.

After two years being single, yeah, officially being single, I am looking forward to have a much more stable life. *wondering* 

Where is that someone whom I can once again believe that true love between man and woman do exist, dreams can be shared, and a future that's not just about me,myself and I, but it's about us, us, and us?

17 days away from my first paper. 27 days to finish up this diploma. Let's finish it Dave, you had enough of the people despising look at you, and those who insulted your God. Let's give your best shot. =)

 This is a nice song to share with you guys. Ivan Handojo - Pada Waktunya. He came to my church during our soft opening. A young and talented singer. =) 

Ada waktu untuk menangis, ketawa dan bertahan saja. Friends,semua yang terjadi di dalam kehidupan kita bukanlah segala-galanya, tetapi apa yang terpenting sekali adalah pada akhirnya, pada waktunya, semua akan menjadi indah. Inilah apa yang saya percaya.

I don't know.

Yeah, it's true. I don't know.

Why am I writing blog at this time? I don't know.

Aren't these cute? These are my feelings now. 

Mixed. Yeah, mixed feelings. 

Can I get a tipsy? Just kidding. 

Wine/Alcohols are to enjoy.

Just as everything seems to be going so well,

Just as I have planned how things shall be,

Just as I thought the good things are going to come,

The news just hit me. It hit me so hard, that right now I am lying down, looking up at the storm that is oncoming. 

For some people, it might not meant a thing. 

As for me, it meant a lot to me.

6 main papers this semester. 2 failed paper from previous semesters.

Supposed to finish up all 8 papers this semester and continue with my Advance Diploma. 

Finish up it smoothly, go to UK, come back and start building up my career.  Bring daddy mummy overseas for holiday. Start caring and blessing those who have been very nice to me. Find a good girlfriend, build the relationship, get married and have a family.

Right now, I saw it vanishing for the moment.

College rules, only maximum 7papers allowed. 

How bout that one more that I failed? 

"No, you can't resit. You just have to wait one more year." 

What to do with that one year? Not sure.

I don't know. 

Work? Yeah, work. 

But, why not let me just finish up my studies first? 

I am not stupid. That's the fact. 

I am not lazy. That's the supporting fact.

I have big dreams, and I don't just dream.

I have been working on it, but why is there boundaries keep coming?

The saying says, "Nothing that kills you, will just make you stronger." 

"Nobody succeed without failing." 

Just as I know so much of all these, there's a feeling inside of me that's disturbing me. 

I don't feel like losing at all. 

Never.

God, at this moment. Inside of me, there might be negative thoughts. I might be weak. But Lord, this is the time that I really need You, to keep me strong, keep me going, keep me running with You. 

I just want You. 

I don't know why it happened to me, but I prayed that I would be strengthen by You, in the days that is coming, that I would be a great testimony to glorify Your name. 

For whatever reasons that this happen to me, I know that You are in control. I would obey, and I would keep following You for the rest of my life. Never forsake me. 

I need You O Lord.. 

 I would keep praying, keep waiting, stay alert to listen to You.